Too Big for the Mall: SparkPeople Series #2

Too Big for the Mall (January 15, 2009)

I have been too fat for the mall for a while now. You might not know this, but most men's stores rarely go to 3X or higher than 44 inch waistes. Only a rare few of them have a Big Men's department, and when they do it is usually not that great.

Big and Tall stores usually cost more. I guess it's all that extra hardware needed to support clothing up to size 12x. The ones on the Intranet are significantly less expensive, but you spend a lot of time returning poor quality and poor fitting merchandise.

Stores like K-Mart and WalMart which do sometimes get up to the 3X area have another problem all together. They sell clothes that an old man like me would look silly in, especially at my size. If they do have something I like that should come in my size, some other fat guy already bought it up.

Speaking of those other fat guys, where the heck are they getting their clothes? I have never seen a naked fat man in a restaurant, store, or picking up his kids at school. They have to be shopping somewhere. I've seen some fatter guys than me wearing some really nice grown up clothes that fit them really nice. If I do get up the courage to ask them where they got something (which almost never happens), they look at me and say that pathetic line that makes me so ashamed of my gender, "I don't know where my wife got it."

Maybe I'm looking at it wrong. I know. I'll pass the problem off like the other fat dudes. Tonight I'm going to give my wife a great big hug, look longingly into her eyes, and say, "Honey, buy me some new clothes this weekend." She'll do it, too. However, I'll be wearing them to the hospital to get something heavy removed from my head the next day.

Oh well. I should just stop worrying about it. I can let my fat clothes hang on me until I can shop at the mall. That won't be for awhile anyway. These that I'm wearing are pretty snug. But when it does happen, watch out skinny people! I'm going to blast through that mall on a shopping binge like you've never seen. It kind of makes me sad, though. In this economy, I'll have to use up my youngest son's college fund to pay for it. What would he rather have- a totally acceptable highschool education or a naked Dad dropping him off at the dorm? See... No worries.